8:30 a.m. and Shae-Lynne is starting to stir. I awaken, as usual. I’m so tired I can barely open my eyes and yet somehow I do. I roll over to look at her face, and wonder if she is about to throw up again. For sure, her mouth is wiggling and she’s beginning to whine and cry. Here we go again, I think to myself with a sigh of irritation. This is how our day had started every single morning for the past two weeks or more. I reach for a towel and as we have done so many times, Shae-Lynne begins to vomit and I attempt to comfort her and clean her up.
    It’s 9:15 a.m. before Shae-Lynne finishes vomiting and settles down enough so that we can get up and dress. I carry her downstairs and lay her on her changing pad propped up on the pillows we have always kept underneath it.
    As I start to change her diaper she begins to gag. Ugh, I am so sick of this I just want to scream! Not again, not again, please not again, I pray to myself.  She proceeds with her throwing up. Ten minutes later she settles down again.  I get her dressed for the day. She appears to be feeling okay so I put her on the floor to play.
    Since Shae-Lynne loves to stand and is able to walk some on her own, we bought her a play table with activities on the top. She seemed to be having a wonderful time, cruising around the table and entertaining herself with noises and such. Within five to ten minutes, for no apparent reason she begins to scream, a loud, high-pitched scream of pain. She grabs at her belly and chest, definitely in discomfort of some sort. I pick her up and we sit in the recliner.
    The cuddling seems to make her feel a little better. We sit together for an hour or more as she whines and cries on and off and throws up a couple of more times. Every so often I try to put her down to play; however, she screams. She leaves her legs limp so as not to be able to stand.
    Something is most definitely bothering her. We sit until she is ready to play again. I’ve become very good at being able to tell the difference between her looking for attention and when she is truly feeling horrible. When she is feeling this badly, everything else gets put on hold for as long as she needs me.
    Eventually she gets wiggly and wants down so I put her on the floor to play again. Ten minutes or more pass, Shae-Lynne stops what she is doing and emits more high-pitched screams. Once more I pick her up and we sit together in the chair as I try to settle her and keep her from throwing up. Again we sit for over an hour with the intermittent cries. She is so exhausted from all the throwing up that she has no energy left to get up and be active. When she decides to play again, she lets me know by trying to wiggle to the floor. Over and over, all day this is repeated. She plays for about ten minutes and then sits and cries, throws up and whimpers for an hour or more.
    I try my best to get through every day by keeping her as comfortable as possible. By now I know that she has good spells and bad spells. The reflux moms I know refer to this as the so-called “reflux roller coaster.” Surely she will come around soon and improve. I hold onto this hope every morning as the day begins. I would convince myself that today would be a better day and if it wasn’t I would look forward to tomorrow.
    This was to be our new routine for over two weeks before I couldn’t take it anymore and called Dr. Andrews. Perhaps he could increase her Losec now that she’s a little older. Yes, he said to double it. I couldn’t believe it, double it just like that? Of course I was willing to try anything at that point. So, I increased her daily dose from ten mgs to twenty mgs. Now at fifteen months and still the same sixteen and a half pounds as a few months ago, Shae-Lynne was on an adult dose of this medication. Unfortunately, it did not help.